


You Are Part of Everything

by MegGonagall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, F/M, HPFT, Heartbreak, Heartbreaker Sirius, Marauders' Era, POV Original Female Character, Reflection, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7010326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegGonagall/pseuds/MegGonagall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><div>
  <p>Banner by Otachi at The-Dark-Arts.net<br/><img/><br/><em>"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?</em>" - Dear Prudence by The Beatles</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Part of Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot won 1st Place in LL's John Green Quote Challenge|2nd Place in lululuna's Beatles Lyrics Challenge at HPFF. Hence the highlighted quotes in the story.

Shattered, cold and alone. I shut myself away from the world. All alone... _Alone_. There is that word again. How could I have ever been so foolish as to think I would have ended up as anything but alone. I've watched you throughout the years. Girl after girl falling in love with you, while you cast them so carelessly aside. "Love 'em and leave 'em," seems to be your way of life. Did you ever stop to think about the emotional hell all of us are put through? As the tears come cascading down my face, I cannot help but to think of the first day. The day my life was turned upside down. 

It was early morning and I was sitting in the common room, studying for Slughorn's exam. You came over, pulled the chair up next to me and draped your arm over my shoulders. My body stiffened at your touch, my heart beating frantically and my palms beginning to sweat. I don't think you've realized that I have been watching you from afar. I knew your face better than I knew my own. The clear, playful gray eyes, the curve of your nose, the square shadowed line of your jaw, the long curtains of silky black hair and your full, flush lips. How I've longed to feel your lips against mine. 

You took the quill out of my hand and shook your head in disappointment. "Tut tut, **Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day**!" You gestured towards the window, it was a gorgeous day, for once. " **The sun is up, the sky is blue. It's beautiful** ," you looked me directly in the eyes. My heart stopped. **"And so are you** ," you finished in a husky whisper. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

As my face burned crimson, I cast my eyes down to the ground. "I - I have to study," I managed to choke out.

You snorted and waived your hand. "Study, shmudy. Come on, **dear Prudence, won't you come out to play**?" you pouted. "Have a walk with me?" Reaching for my chin, you lifted my head, to meet your eyes. The intensity of your gaze had so much heat, I felt as if I could combust. I couldn't breathe. How many nights I’ve laid awake imagining this very moment. The moment where I, Prudence Mayfield, would finally exist in your world. Me; the shy, quiet, studious little brunette. As my wide brown eyes stared into your clear grey ones, I couldn't help myself, and nodded. "Okay," I shrugged.  

"That a girl," you purred. 

As you stood up and took my hand, I felt my heart pounding like it never has before. I discretely pinched my thigh, making sure this was not just another dream, and let you tow me towards the portrait hole. As it swung open, you helped me through like a perfect gentleman. 

“M’ Lady,” you bowed in a ridiculous fashion. I couldn’t help but giggle. 

While walking down the stairs, you took my hand, intertwining our fingers together. I glanced up at you shyly from underneath my eyelashes, as you winked at me. People watched us along the way. Some girls giving me icy glares; others shook their heads in pity. I pretended not to notice. Maybe I would be the one who could finally tame you, I thought. How foolish of me. 

Finally we reached our unspoken destination, the Black Lake. We sat near the water's edge; your hand still in mine. I did not know what to say as I am not a particularly loquacious person. My heart still beat like a hummingbird’s wings, my throat dry and my stomach in knots. I could not understand what you could possibly have sought me out for. That was when you spoke. 

“Prudence,” you said quietly. “I have been watching you for a while, I must admit.” You gave me a wolfish grin which made my pounding heart stop. 

My eyes widened. “You – you have?” I stuttered in disbelief. 

You shook your head slowly. “You don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?” You asked sadly. The corners of your lips pulling down in a frown. 

I couldn’t speak. I cast my eyes to the ground while shaking my head. “No,” I whispered. 

No one has ever told me I was _beautiful_ before. If there was one person I would have wanted to hear those words from, it would have been you. You truly do know how to play the game well. No wonder so many of us had fallen into your trap. 

Placing your hands on my cheeks, you lifted my face up to meet yours. “Well, you are,” you said with a scorching look. 

I watched in utter astonishment as you slowly brought your lips closer to mine. You stopped for a moment, searching my face for permission. I nodded; completely lost in your spell, I shut my eyes and closed the distance between our lips. 

The following weeks were some of the happiest I could remember. You were nothing short of a true romantic. Moonlight walks, midnight picnics in the Astronomy tower, flying high in the nighttime sky, on the back of your broom, stolen moments in empty classrooms between classes. You made me feel like the most special girl in the world. I was on cloud nine and falling in love, passionately and deeply.

It wasn’t long before you convinced me of your undying devotion. No sooner did you utter the words, “Prudence, I love you,” did I let you take the one thing most precious to a young woman. My innocence. You set the scene up perfectly. Candles lit all throughout the Astronomy Tower – our usual meeting place – a blanket placed on the ground, flowers all around. It was the most romantic thing a girl like me could hope for. That evening was everything I’ve always dreamed it would be, and more. I was in love, you were in love and we were showing our love, in the most intimate of ways. Little did I realize, that would be the last night I would spend with you.

The following day, you regarded me as you would dung under your shoe. I saw you standing in the Common Room, surrounded by your friends. It was the last day we would ever be at Hogwarts. I walked over and put my arms around your waist.

“Good morning, love,” I said brightly.

You stiffened upon hearing my voice; your friends sniggered and turned away. Then, you did the last thing I would have ever expected.

Turning around to face me, your eyes were cold; a cruel smirk on your face. “Excuse me? Have we met?” you asked with a laugh.

At first I believed you to be joking. "Very funny," I said dryly. 

You stepped away and glanced in your friends' direction. Looking back at me, your eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe we have ever spoken before. May I help you with something?" You continued with your act. Feigning as if you were concerned for my sanity. 

A chill ran through my body. It felt like the room was closing in around me. I watched as James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew laughed loudly. It all made sense now. You never brought me around your friends. We had only snuck around one another at night, when your friends were in bed, or when no one was around. Our _relationship_ was never let known. How stupid I had been!

I took a step back, frantically blinking, lest the tears, which were threatening to fall, would leak from my eyes. “No. I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else,” I replied, my voice devoid of emotion.

Quickly I ran away, but not before hearing, “Complete nutters, these girls are!” Followed by more laughter.

It's been two months since that day and yet, I still cannot let go. I am in hell. I do not eat, I rarely sleep, and I cannot bring myself to leave my room. I do not see color any longer. My world has become void of joy and laughter. When will you realize, a girl’s heart is not something to be carelessly tossed away?

Night after night, I lay in bed, trying to understand. Each moment replays through my mind, but I can’t seem to make any sense out of anything. Everything has become a jumbled, mixed up mess. My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations. 

 

" ** _Won't you come out to play_** _?_ " echos through my mind. If I had only known the implications of that question. If I had... Well, Sirius Black, your answer would have been, "Not today."

**Author's Note:**

> *Lyrics are from the song Dear Prudence – Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney and recorded by The Beatles.
> 
> **Quote is from The Fault in Our Stars – Written by John Green pg. 311


End file.
